This wasn’t good…or was it? – SmackDown 03/12 Review

At first it didn‘t feel good, but now I think this was a good one.
We found out a few things about WrestleMania and Randy and AJ had a killer segment.
Find out why I was hesitant in liking it by reading on!


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Not gonna lie, this episode felt like reading a press release about coming WrestleMania matches.
I mean heck, even Shane revealing why he attacked Miz was basically just him making a match for WrestleMania.
Yeah, sure, he played the role of the bad guy to a t, even going so far as to choke the ring announcer because the poor lad didn‘t announce him correctly.
Why couldn‘t he say that Shane was the best in the world like he meant it?
Well, probably cause he knew just as you and I do that two thirds of the best in the world moniker belong to Miz.

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The reason he had for turning on Miz actually made a lot of sense.
Well, he had two reasons, one of them generic, the other one made sense.
The generic one was that he was sick and tired of people always coming to him to get him to do things for them.
Miz wanted him to make his father proud of him.
If you ask me that‘s just generic rich guy shtick.
The reason that actually made sense to me was that he just really enjoyed it.
I mean, beating Miz up?
Yeah, even I (The Miz‘s biggest fan!) can see why someone might enjoy that!
Because he enjoyed it so much he wants to do it again at WrestleMania and because he‘s Miz‘s boss it‘s not a request, it‘s an order.
Dang!
The boss card made this whole opener worth it for me.

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It added that one dimension of ruthlessness that‘ll make it that much more exciting to see Miz win.
So I enjoyed this, right?
Shane is a great heel and what he said made sense for the story.
And yet something was missing.
Miz!
Yeah, if he would‘ve shown up and rained hell on his boss then it would‘ve been that much more sweet for me.
Without it this was just Shane telling us about a match at Mania.
Announcements without confrontations are boring!
I do however understand why Miz didn‘t show.
His absence hammers home how vile and vicious Shane‘s betrayal was.
They love to emphasize an attack by having a wrestler miss a show, but when you‘re only a few weeks away from WrestleMania I think actions speak louder than words.
Without action this was just okay.

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Aleister Black and Ricochet and the Hardy Boyz vs. The Bar and Rusev and Shinsuke:

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This giant eight-man tag on the other hand was full of action!
Compared to Ale‘s and Ric‘s appearance the night before this was a really great match!
But I‘m a tiny little bit confused about Matt.
He did do the delete hand gesture, so is he still broken?
My guess is he‘ll just use the hand gesture because it‘s so over and then basically just act like a normal old Hardy Boy.
Not that that‘s bad, it‘s just sad to see them waste the gimmick.
But I guess we‘ll only truly know when he talks, right?
This match was all about action, though!

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Ricochet just flew to his hearts content and the heels heelishly heeled by isolating Jeff.
I don‘t even mind that lame trope when there‘s more than two bad guys.
It makes sense that they‘d do that and the good guys are too good to go and break the assault up.
I never said it dsoesn‘t make sense, I just don‘t like it when certain tag teams only use this method, right Nia and Tamina?
Anywho, this was really fast paced and great and I absolutely enjoyed it!
I even liked the fact that nobody won!
It ended in a giant brawl and when New Day ran out to prove a point to Vince by decimating all four teams the ref decided that it all warranted a no contest ruling.
This was just great and I really dug that New Day have a chip on their shoulder now!
They busted their ass for the company and still Kofi doesn‘t get the respect he has undoubtedly earned!
It makes sense that they‘re pissed!
But more on that later!
Hint, hint!

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Randy Orton and AJ Styles had a confrontation and it was without a doubt the best segment of the week!
Yes, even grander than Triple H and Drax or Dean going Mortal Kombat on Drew!
This was the bomb.com!
Why?
Simple.
Everything they said was the truth.
I already wanna marry this feud!
I told you it‘d be awesome!
But let‘s back up a bit.

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Randy came out to the ring and went down his and AJ‘s careers.
When AJ was performing before 12 people Randy debuted in the WWE.
When AJ was performing in Bingo halls Randy became the youngest champ ever.
When AJ was kissing up to Dixie Carter Randy dominated everybody in the WWE.
You get it, while AJ busted his ass in the Indy‘s Orton practically ran WWE, the biggest brand in the world.
This wasn‘t the house that AJ Styles built, to Orton it was his house.
The phenomenal one obviously had something to say about that.

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He joked that for someone looking down on the Indy‘s as much as he does Orton sure followed his career pretty closely.
Best joke of the night!
AJ continued that he‘s proud of where he comes from and that Randy would‘ve never made it in the Indy‘s with generic poses and rip-off Diamond Cutters.
Randy asked if Indy guys never ripped off things and then held up the “Too Sweet” sign.
You know, AJ‘s signature and also the signature of a tiny clique called the Kliq.
Uuuuuuh, burn!
Gee, I felt that sting of truth inside my gut!
Well, AJ said then that now Randy‘s surrounded by AJ‘s Indy friends and they all made it on their own, while Randy always had help.
His father, a former WWE star, Triple H, Ric Flair, the Wyatt Family, the list is long.
In the end he always used people until they didn‘t benefit him anymore.
AJ won‘t be used and spit out!

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Well, AJ had no choice said the viper, because SmackDown was his house, he‘s the landlord and AJ‘s just renting a room.
Time to collect, you son of a bitch!
Wow, they actually didn‘t bleep out bitch!
AJ then pointed at the WrestleMania sign and…
Well, dang!
I‘m done!
Like a hot potato!
This was just intense af and really really awesome!
It seems that these days feuds are the best when they‘re full of truth, because all of the arguments that both sides made, were legit.
They weren‘t just fabricated stories, they took things from reality and use it as fuel.
I just love this segment!

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Asuka vs. Sonya Deville:

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I think at this point I should better get used to the idea of Sonya and Mandy in a triple threat with Asuka at Mania, right?
It hurts because Asuka was such an awesome wrestler in NXT, dominating everything and everyone, and now she‘s the champ on main and delegated to fight B-rate talent.
Yeah, yeah, I said that I can see Mandy become a bigger entity, but even if that‘ll be the case she‘ll never be more than B-Rate.
She‘ll never headline WrestleMania and she‘ll never do anything special.
Asuka on the other hand really could do that!
She could be great but because she only speaks broken English WWE barely uses her.
The answer to that problem?
A manager.
Problem freaking solved!
That‘s why they exist!
Heck, have Paul recruit her besides Brock and you‘ve got instant gold on your hands.
Asuka‘s someone you build up to the stratosphere and never let down again, just like Brock Lesnar.
She Shouldn‘t wrestle Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville.
Yuck!
Obviously Asuka won.

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But this thing seems to be all about the impending falling out of Sonya and Mandy.
Mandy was accidentally hit and slipped, which caused Sonya to slip and lose.
While Mandy didn‘t seem to get that it was her fault, Sonya looked as if she was about to go all Shane on her cute butt.
She didn‘t though, at least not yet.
The problem with this was that it barely looked as if Mandy caused the loss.
It was a bit botched, at least from the angle we so on the telly.
And I just don‘t care about Mandy and Sonya.
It doesn‘t matter to me if they‘re friends or not.
This doesn‘t matter to me.
I will however say that it‘s incredibly interesting that once again Asuka won pretty much by accident.
I hope that‘s gonna be important later on.
It feels like a wasted opportunity not to use it as feud fuel.
Anyway, this was a poop emoji.

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Some tag video promo things happened.
The Uos had a generic promo full of fog and lens flair and the Iiconics actually had a really great video on Sasha and Bayley.
Ever since they stopped impersonating people they‘ve continually gotten better.
If they continue like this the future sure will be Iiconic!

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Now, the next line might shock you!
It might absolutely repulse you.
It might go against everything you‘ve come to know about me.
It might break your perception of what I am.
But I absolutely hated everything about the next segment with Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair!
I hated every single thing about it!
I hated that Becky claimed she actually had intended for Ronda to do what she did.
She just played mind games, played her like a fiddle.
I hated that Charlotte just repeated the same stuff she had already told us a billion times.
It‘s her main event, she‘s the queen, she has been hot for years while Becky‘s only been hot for a few months and she just feels so sorry for Becky.
I hated this with a passion!

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I‘m not buying that Becky intended for Ronda to break, because this is the first time she mentioned it!
She never added a line or a smirk that would indicate she wanted Ronda to snap.
It feels so heelish to take credit for something she didn‘t do.
And that‘s the problem here!
Charlotte is obviously a heel and so is Ronda.
That left Becky for us to hold on to as the unjustly treated baby.
Even if this whole shebang started with her heel turn she got turned into a good guy by sheer force of will from us!
We loved her so much that they had no chance but to portray her as the protagonist, the good guy.
And with one lame statement they turned her into someone looking for excuses?
That‘s why she should‘ve won her way back into the main event on her own instead of Ronda doing it for her.
It‘s all so fishy and reeks of directionlessness.

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Is that even a word?
Look, she‘s a tweener, I get that.
She‘s like Stone Cold at this point.
Neither good nor bad.
But even Stone Cold never did anything that went against his character, and this does!
Looking for excuses is not what my waifu‘s all about!
She admits when something hasn‘t gone according to plan, moves on and beats Charlotte‘s ass anyway!
I hate this because I love Becky so much!
Without Becky as our anchor the whole story falls apart.
Injuries suck, yes, but you‘re telling me that the biggest wrestling company in the world couldn‘t have come up with something better than “yeah, I totally meant her to attack me”?
Whatever it is they‘re selling here, I‘m not buying!
I miss Randy and AJ!
Can they please come back?

All Photos taken from WWE.com

 

Rey Mysterio and R-Truth vs. Samoa Joe and Andrade:

All Photos taken from WWE.com

Oh my god, R-Truth is so incredible!
Can you believe he‘s already 47 years old!
He moves like someone in their mid-thirties!
He‘s off the charts!
I love him!

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If you would‘ve told me that Truth would get himself over by doing comedy and being awesome in the ring I wouldn‘t have believed you.
He is something else!
It all kind of seemed like it was focusing on him.
Even Mella and Zelina were at it again on the outside.
They‘re totally laying the ground work for a mixed tag match at Mania!
But this wasn‘t all that this match accomplished.
Rey pinned Joe, which means he‘ll probably fight him for the belt at Mania.
Yeah, this was really good and I dig the two stories that are developing out of it.
Two for the price of one!
And R-Truth!
Man, he‘s good!

All Photos taken from WWE.com

Daniel Bryan and Rowan vs. Kevin Owens and Mustafa Ali:

All Photos taken from WWE.com

This match was made when Daniel had a little chat with Vince in his office.
But you don‘t wanna know about that, right?
You want to know about the shirt that Rowan was wearing!
It was a Powerwolf shirt!
Man, someone really should make a Rowan-band-shirt spotify list!
Yeah, this was a pretty cool match.
It‘s especially sweet for me to see Rowan in action.
Maybe it‘s his love for metal, but it just feels like we‘re kindred spirits.
I get him.
I also get Mustafa and Kevin being super awesome and Rowan pinning Ali.
I get all of that!
I totally got this match!

All Photos taken from WWE.com

 

But I did not get the last segment of the night for the very same reason why I didn‘t get the opening, which is weird.
While writing this I realized that because everything good was sandwiched between these two announcement-like segments it felt as if the whole show was just an announcement.
The fact that they constantly showed us graphics for Mania matches from Raw didn‘t help either!
This show wasn‘t all about announcements, but by making the first and last thing we saw one our stupid little brains made it feel like it!
Okay, what am I talking about?

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They announced earlier (huh, announcements again!) that Vince would have a major Mania chance for Kofi later on.
While I thought he would tell him to wear a costume and be the mascot he didn‘t go quite that far.
Vince did however tell Kofi that he‘d only make it into the Hall Of Fame as a member of the New Day, because all he was was a B-Rate player.
New Day were sick and tired of busting their ass and Kofi doing the same and never getting anything out of it.
He felt like at this point he deserved a Championship match at Mania!
Vince told him that wasn‘t true in his eyes.
No one deserved anything!
Not even he deserved owning WWE, but he had earned it, by busting his butt.
And that‘s why he gave Kofi the opportunity to earn his way to WrestleMania.
All he has to do is beat Randy Orton, Samoa Joe, The Bar and Rowan in a gauntlet match next week.
Well, okay, that means I‘m pretty pumped for next week because gauntlet matches are dope, even though they happen too frequently lately.
But it also means that they just announced a match.
That‘s all they did.

Sure, there was a brawl, but Vince wasn’t involved!

No sucker punch to Vince, nothing.

All Photos taken from WWE.com

You know me!
Actions speak louder than words!
Faces should react when heels are evil.
And as good and intense as the verbal confrontation between Vince and Kofi was the lack of physical action hindered it.
Yeah, yeah, AJ and Randy didn‘t fight either earlier, but AJ had already forearmed Randy at Fastlane.
The face had already reacted physically.
Words after actions are okay, but words without action just feel empty.
This is wrestling, it‘s all about the action, people fighting.
To announce something big and not even give us a tiny little glimpse of…

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Wait a minute!
I just realized something!
They did give us a glimpse!
Earlier in the show when New Day attacked every tag team in that four team match.
So why did I only realize that now?
Because it felt separate.
They felt like two different things.
That one was about New Day as a team and this is about Kofi as an individual.
As an individual they didn‘t give him an action.
He didn‘t react to Vince still not taking him seriously and setting him up for failure.
That‘s why this felt off to me!
Well, and I also really like seeing people punch Vince in the throat.
Welp.

All Photos taken from WWE.com

 

This was a really good episode, but it only revealed itself as such upon further inspection.
On the surface level it lacked reactions.
It seemed to be all about announcing stuff and during WrestleMania season talk is cheap.
Ironically enough my favorite thing actually was a talking segment.
Randy and AJ just killed it!
Shane was a good heel and Vince was also just dastardly, but those two segments could‘ve used a reaction form the face.
That would‘ve gone a long way.
While the matches weren‘t really ground breaking by any means they were all exciting (with the exception of Asuka vs. Sonya… yuck!) and fun to watch.
I think Raw impressed me a bit more, but this one was a really good episode as well!

All Photos taken from WWE.com

 

Do you think Kofi should‘ve punched Vince in the throat?
Tell me in the comments!
Feel free to share my ramble about announcing things with your friends.
I‘ll see you tomorrow for NXT.
Have a great day!

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