The biggest event of the summer felt more like the biggest let down of the summer.
The really good bits, such as the Fiend, were bogged down by the mediocre rest, including a shallow main event.
Find out more by reading on!
01: Drew Gulak vs. Oney Lorcan for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship:
Oh, wait a minute!
I loved Oney on NXT!
He was great there, so maybe that means this cruiserweight bout will be great, too?
Well, it was actually okay.
You see, both wrestlers aren‘t high-flyers, which is the most exciting thing about the cruiserweight division.
Take that away and what do you get?
Drew doing submissions and a few hard hits from Oney.
And yeah, it was a decent match, sure, but nothing that really set my world on fire.
It was actually just starting to get more intense and speedier when Drew retained with the Cyclone Crash, or Clash or whatever the move‘s called.
They had the beginnings of a good match here, but the problem was that it ended after the beginning.
Rating: 2 out of 5
02: Apollo Crews vs. Buddy Murphy:
One question: why?
Why is this here?
There‘s no legitimate reason for the two of them getting a match instead of Rey and Andrade or any of the two tag titles for the men being defended.
This was here, just to be here, I feel.
Now, for what it was it was okay.
Not great, but decent.
I‘m glad that Apollo and Buddy got a chance to shine, and they really did, but I just have no idea why…
Oh, wait!
Rowan came out, attacked Buddy because he had accused him of attacking Roman and then the match got ended by the ref.
That‘s why!
Wow, that‘s kinda brilliant!
I never in a million years saw coming that Rowan in an Iced Earth shirt would attack Buddy.
Probably should‘ve, but didn‘t!
So, yeah, kind of a throwaway match, but the ending caught me off guard in a really good way.
And after all, aren‘t throwaway matches exactly what the kickoff show is here for?
Rating: 2 out of 5
03: Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross vs. The Iiconics for the WWE Women‘s Tag Team Championships:
I can‘t believe this was the only tag action we had!
I get why they chose this and not any of the the men.
They had made a really big deal about the women getting a tag division… better do something with it, right?
Well, they hadn‘t done much with it so far and that‘s not gonna change in the near future.
Yeah, sure, Alexa was dressed as Buzz Lightyear, which gave me a whole slew of weird feelings, but other than that this was a forgettable affair.
Corey‘s constant Disney and Pixar jokes were much more entertaining than watching Nikki and Alexa retain.
Nikki was isolated because Alexa and her are faces now, for some reason I still haven‘t figured out yet.
And then Nikki helped Alexa when she was in a tight spot and so the goddess retained by pinning Peyton after Twisted Bliss.
Look, I‘m all for tag matches being on a ppv, believe me, but this was just sad.
When you don‘t put any effort into the matches it would be better to not have them at all.
Now, excuse me, I need to dream about Alexa Lightyear..
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
Where to put the stuff they had for the 24/7 belt?
Well, considering they started on the pre-show, why not put it after the last pre-show match?
That‘s exactly what I‘m gonna do.
So, Drake invaded the panel and asked if they had seen R-Truth.
Meanwhile Truth and Carmella were hiding just out of view from him on the set.
He finally saw them and started to chase after them.
Later on when they were going through the international row of announcers Truth and Mella were hiding there until Drake found them and chased them off.
And that was it for the 24/7 belt.
Just small little things they used to splice up the programming a bit with.
While I would like to have them have a crazy match for it on a ppv I think this is perfectly serviceable.
Yeah, okay segments for an okay belt.
Other than this some miscellaneous stuff included Edge spearing Elias (on the pre-show) and Brett Hart wishing Seth luck (on the main show).
Now, on to the main show!
04: Becky Lynch vs. Natalya in a submission match for the WWE Raw Women‘s Championship:
Meh.
When a show starts off properly with a match that‘s incredibly meh even to think about you know you‘re in for a wild ride – and not in a particularly great way.
Of course you know my bias against Natalya.
She‘s a wet blanket to me.
She reminds me of the Big Show actually.
They just use her whenever they need as whatever they need and the result is that you get a jumbled mess of a woman who‘s a face one week and heel the next.
But Big Show has a personality and Natty is, well, a Hart and that‘s her thing.
Unless you count her also being a crazy cat lady.
I suppose that‘s a character as well.
And Becky‘s also growing stale.
Ever since they got behind her and really started pushing her I feel she‘s lost a lot of her charm.
She‘s a full blown face now instead of being a dastardly heel who just so happened to be compelling and in the right for once.
It was what made her interesting to begin with.
Yeah, she still looks incredible, but that can‘t be enough.
And I don‘t know about you, but the submission stipulation didn‘t really do much for me either.
It‘s my least favorite part about wrestling – the mat wrestling and slow submission stuff.
So, yeah, bad conditions.
Becky dominated immediately, but it wasn‘t long before Natty fought back with a vengeance.
Granted, it was better than I thought it‘d be.
They exchanged several submissions, brawled on the outside, Natty got bounced against the announce desk and the steel steps and Becky used Natty‘s submission and Natty Becky‘s.
But we all knew how it had to end.
With Natalya tapping out to the Disarmer.
Even with Natty being from Canada, where SummerSlam was held this year, this was a foregone conclusion.
It wasn‘t a complete dud, but it also wasn‘t more than that.
In one word: meh.
Rating: 2 out of 5
05: Goldberg vs. Dolph Ziggler:
This was both exactly what I had expected and not at all.
You see, Goldberg did finish Dolph after just one Spear and Jackhammer, but it was one second longer than that.
You see, they tried to get the most out of it, I guess.
Dolph started by ranting that everyone will see that he‘s the best.
And he even got two Superkicks in before Goldberg ended him.
After that was done Dolph grabbed a mike and taunted Goldberg if that was all he had.
Two times!
And both times he came back into the ring to spear him again.
I think if they wouldn‘t have had this prolonging bit i might‘ve enjoyed Dolph just being slaughtered in a few seconds a bit more.
But with Goldberg coming back twice it just felt repetitive and cheap.
Yeah, all in all this was exactly what I expected: a complete disappointment.
One can only hope that Dolph‘s reputation will not suffer too greatly from this loss and that down the line we‘ll still get Shawn versus Dolph.
Otherwise this would‘ve been a complete failure.
Hmph, I just don‘t like Goldberg, I guess.
Rating: 1 out of 5
06: AJ Styles vs. Ricochet for the WWE United States Championship:
I‘d like to borrow a Dolph-ism to start talking about this one.
This should‘ve been great.
And it would‘ve been if AJ still would wrestle face.
As a heel he‘s just not as flashy anymore and that means it‘s not really the best match we could get from this pairing.
Add to that the fact that the OC got involved for seemingly no reason and you‘ve got yourself a frustration sandwich.
I wanna get behind Ricochet.
I wanna get behind matches they tout as probably being brilliant.
I want to be able to look forward to match ups based on the past.
But I can‘t because I can see into the future.
No, not really, but I don‘t trust the WWE farther than I can throw it.
Which means, not at all, because I‘m not a wrestler!
AJ‘s style (haha) was that he‘d target one of the legs from Ric, and Ric actually jumpy jumped on one leg.
That was really cool and there were other moments of almost brilliance here and there.
In the end though Ricochet attacked OC preemptively, which was his downfall because it led to a Styles Clash and AJ retaining.
This was just so stupid.
The OC shouldn‘t have been involved at all.
It would‘ve made the entire match a lot better, but because they‘re a group now they have to do something every single match…
WWE, it‘s okay to not do something every single damn time.
Hmph.
This should‘ve been great.
Oh, and Ric also looked really stupid.
Welp.
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
07: Bayley vs. Ember Moon for the WWE SmackDown Women‘s Championship:
Well, this was a pleasant surprise!
I totally get it now!
I get why they want to push Ember!
She was top notch!
And so was a more intense Bayley.
Ember almost pinned the hugger a few times, even!
But she did retain after an absolutely insane spot!
She did the Bayley To Belly from the ring-post!
I can‘t believe I‘m saying this, but so far this was my favorite match!
The show as a whole had not really been as grand as SummerSlam usually is, but this sure was!
Sometimes you don‘t need much.
Sometimes a good match is enough.
Yeah, the feud they had was pretty weird, but this match made up for it in spades.
Welcome to my heart, Ember Moon!
I guess that means you‘re the total eclipse of my heart!
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
08: Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens with Elias as special guest enforcer and if Owens loses he quits:
Let me tell you what I expected.
Shane doing some crazy stunt and Owens stunnering him.
I did not expect that Shane would do nothing cool and that he‘d just add Elias as backup instead.
Yeah, this was bit of a let down.
Well, of course we got the Stunner, but could that save the match?
Well, it wasn‘t all bad, actually.
I just wished Shane would‘ve done something.
And that Elias would‘ve done less.
He was a constant pain in the butt for Kevin.
Eventually the ref got distracted by Elias and Kevin was able to low blow Shane.
Yeah, Elias‘s attempt at helping Shane eventually back-fired and Kev was then able to hit the Stunner and keep his job.
Maybe it‘s just the fact that this SummerSlam has been underwhelmingly mediocre, but I wanted way more than I got.
What I got was Kevin being brilliant against two men.
But I don‘t know, I just feel like there should‘ve been more.
But what we did get was perfectly good!
Stun, Owens, Stun!
Rating: 3 out of 5
09: Charlotte Flair vs. Trish Stratus:
OK.
I admit it.
Trish was great.
This match was great.
It started off with Stratus showcasing her still existing abilities and then it was all about Charlotte.
She gloated after throwing her into the steps and just toyed with her for a few minutes.
These minutes dragged a bit, but other than that the match was great.
I was impressed by Trish doing the Figure Four and Eight, although it didn‘t stick.
She also did the Chick Kick, which is a terrible, terrible name.
In the end though Charlotte did a Figure Four/Eight combo and then Trish tapped to WWE‘s woo girl.
It‘s weird that I don‘t have more to say here.
I really liked this one.
Guess I‘m just not in a talkative mood about good matches, huh?
There‘s not much to say other than that they were good wrestling matches.
That goes for this one as well as Bayley vs. Ember.
But yeah, I was really right in saying that Charlotte could carry anyone to a great match.
She did.
She really is her father‘s daughter!
Wooooooooooooooooooo!
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
10: Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship:
zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Agh, hey. Didn‘t see you there.
I…I fell asleep, sorry.
Erm.
Yeah, okay, I‘m awake.
It‘s just that Randy always puts me to sleep.
But I watched this and, yeah… I kinda wanna go back to sleep now.
When you watch a lot of wrestling you kinda get a feel for not only what you like but also for if a match will be good or not.
I knew this would be bad.
And I don‘t like Randy.
That‘ll never change.
He always, always puts me to sleep, which is why I‘ll never ever again look forward to a match of his.
And this, well, yeah, it was boring.
Slow and boring.
There was a brawl on the outside or something and zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz
Crap! I fell asleep again!
Okay, no, I need to back up.
So, Randy tried to do an RKO, but didn‘t get it and then Kofi jumped and Orton turned that into an RKO!
Yeah, I never argued that the RKO wasn‘t a brilliant move, everything else he does is just so sleep inducing.
Kofi rolled out instead of eating the pin and then there was a brawl on the outside and the ref decided that the match was over apparently.
Ding ding, no winner.
Yeah, the crowd wasn‘t happy, and me neither.
This was baaaad, man!
Not only was the match slow as hell, there also wasn‘t a winner.
So what the hell was the point of this?
I hate everything about it except for the RKO!
Okay, now that that‘s over, let me go back to sleep, please.
zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
11: Finn Balor vs. The Fiend:
Every once in a while there are those matches where you just have to ask yourself what it exactly was you just watched.
They‘re so unique, so special, that you‘ve a hard time describing them.
This was one of those matches.
First off, Finn was not dressed as the Demon, which I highly appreciated.
No, this was all about the debut of the Fiend.
And, oh my lord, what a debut!
Bray came out to an absolutely amazing entrance and he had decapitated head lanterns and everything just screamed eerie.
It was honestly pretty freaking amazing.
His whole presentation was on point, including portraying signs of a conflicted psyche.
He even “broke” Finn‘s neck!
Bray was just incredible!
I had a feeling they might screw it up by having Finn win, but that wasn‘t the case!
Finn hit the Coup De Gras and Bray caught him with the Claw and chocked him out to win!
Yeah, the Coup De Gras failed!
Has that ever happened?
And that‘s pretty much all that Finn did, because it was all Fiend.
Damn.
The audience was eating this up like crazy and chanting how awesome it was and I have to give them this one!
This was a very rare moment of WWE magic!
Everything just clicked!
Well, okay, I still don‘t like the Firefly Fun House thing, but this, this was great.
The Fiend as a character is out of this world.
While wrestling wise it might not have been the best the whole presentation elevated it to the highest level.
What an experience!
Let him in, indeed!
Rating: 5 out of 5
12: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins for the Universal Championship:
One of the audience members held up a sign saying they‘d riot if Brock were to win.
Really?
Did anyone feel this strongly regarding Brock‘s possible win?
Don‘t get me wrong, I hate him too, but I‘m starting to not care anymore.
He‘s the new Roman Reigns in that regard.
They‘re just gonna tell us to like him until the day we die.
I was indifferent here.
I had no horse in the race, so to speak.
Yeah, I like Seth, but I think I enjoy him more as the chaser than the actual champion.
He did win after three Stomps and Brock had to work a bit more than usual, too.
I lost count after five Germans, for instance, but all in all this wasn‘t very exciting.
Just because it was better than the usual Brock match doesn‘t mean it was a good match.
I just did not care.
Even after Seth jumped Brock through the announce table from the ring post I didn‘t really care.
Seth won and I still don‘t care.
Wow, I can‘t believe this was the big main event for the biggest event of the summer!
The whole show didn‘t feel all that spectacular to me and nowhere was this more apparent than here.
Sorry, Seth, you did not burn it down.
Rating: 2 out of 5
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Oh, erm, I gotta summarize this event, huh?
Look, wasn‘t SummerSlam supposed to be a big deal?
Not only did the matches fall flat for the most part, but the run-time was not that long, either.
I‘m glad that it was only about three and a half hours long, but I‘m used to big special extravaganzas that are five hours long!
And the Kickoff also felt incredibly unspecial.
Is that even a word?
Well, it is now.
I really did not care for the matches that WWE was looking forward to the most.
Goldberg, Randy and Brock just don‘t do it for me.
And then there‘s things that should‘ve been great like AJ and Ric.
But it wasn‘t all bad, which makes this weird.
Not only were the women on the main show (except for maybe Becky and Natty) really bringing their a-game, but they also had a rare moment of brilliance with the debut of The Fiend.
Everything just clicked with that and it‘s so weird that it was on here.
It felt so detached from the mediocrity of the rest that it stood out like a sour thumb.
I feel like the WWE only knows how to do one type of ppv anymore: a mixed one.
This sadly wasn‘t the exception to that rule.
SummerSlam should be grander than this.
It should‘ve been great.
Overall Rating: 3 out of 5
Were you impressed by the Fiend?
Tell me in the comments.
Feel free to share my last review with your friends.
Yes, this was my last review.
However, this isn‘t the end of this blog.
I‘ll talk more about that soon.
Until then, have a great weekend!
